Sex after childbirth: How long to wait and what to expect

Sex after childbirth – After giving birth to a child, the pace of life changes drastically. Taking care of the baby isn’t an easy task, as the body also recovers during this period from childbirth. Both physically and mentally person goes through a lot of changes from changing the diapers to breastfeeding, it’s difficult to think about sex soon after the delivery. It’s completely fine to take your time to heal before going for sex. 

When can one start having sex after childbirth?

There is no specific time period mentioned to start sex after childbirth, but it’s found in research that about 89% of women resume sex within 6 months after pregnancy. Mostly doctors suggests that one can start having sex after 4-6 weeks after delivery, as in the meanwhile body gets time to heal vaginal tear or C-section incision. In case of C-section, waiting time needs to be followed as incision requires time to heal, even positions like missionary should be avoided as it can put pressure on the scar. As everyone’s pregnancy is different, so doctor’s approval remains important, even after that, it’s important to listen to your body and take steps accordingly.

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How much time does it take to recover from childbirth?

The first 6 weeks after giving birth to a child are generally referred to as the postpartum period. And around 6-8 weeks from childbirth is the time when the body usually gets back to normal. For some women, it might take much longer to recover.

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Who should wait to have sex after a baby?

Those who want to give time to themselves and their body or if the person had episiotomy, it’s cut made during the surgery to widen the opening of vagina so that baby can come out in case of certain complications. If the person gets back to sex quite soon after episiotomy, certain complications like urinary infection and postpartum haemorrhage might arise.

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Is sex after delivery the same as before?

As the body goes through many physical and hormonal changes, it would not be the same. Experience gets better with time and gets back to normal gradually. But initially as vaginal tissues become more sensitive because of hormonal changes. Also, problems like vaginal dryness, episiotomy, incontinence, pain and bleeding while having sex, low sex drives, tiredness etc. are usually noted, that makes it unpleasurable experience for many women.

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What makes it difficult to have sex after pregnancy?

In few days after delivery, the estrogen level comes down to pre-pregnancy levels. As estrogen supports in providing natural vaginal lubrication, but after pregnancy hormonal changes makes the vagina dry, that can even cause irritation, bleeding and pain while having sex, rising the chance to get an infection.  According to the WHO, 35% of women experience pain while having sex after childbirth. Also, as the vaginal tears takes place, the muscles of the vagina require time to relax. Even in the case of C- C-section, hormonal changes work the same way, making the experience unpleasant.

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How can experience be improved?

The experience can be improved by using the following tips-

  • Taking it gently – Your body gave birth to a child, it can’t be forced much initially, start gently and go slowly, giving your body space and time.
  • Using pain killers – It’s important to keep the bladder empty before having sex, and taking a painkiller can help reduce the pain.
  • Usage of lubricants – Llubricants can be used as it helps reducing the vaginal dryness that is mostly felt by women after pregnancy. Water-based lubricants are recommended for the postpartum period. 
  • Increase foreplay – It’s like giving vagina it’s proper time to produce natural lubrication. Foreplay, mutual masturbation, and other types of eroticism can be chosen before penetration.  
  • Kegel exercises – This may also help by regaining strength in the vagina as muscles rebuilds itself.
  • Discussing with the partner – It’s important to discuss your concerns and problems with your partner; you both can discuss alternative ways of connecting, like spending time together alone, by taking some time off from your daily schedule. Genuine communication can help both connect in a better way.

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Can I get pregnant soon after childbirth?

Yes, one can get pregnant even before getting her first period after childbirth. It should be noted that most doctors recommend another pregnancy at least after 18 months of childbirth, as the body requires time to heal and recover fully before going for another baby. Having a baby really early can lead to problems like having a premature baby and a baby with less weight at the time of birth. Pregnancy can be prevented by doing proper family planning and using contraceptive methods.

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How to prevent early pregnancy after childbirth?

A person can prevent pregnancy after childbirth by using the contraceptive methods that suit them best. There are various contraceptive options like condoms, IUDs, pills, patches, vaginal ring etc. Even breastfeeding in itself is a really effective way to avoid pregnancy, but it’s not a reliable way to depend on. It’s important to discuss with your doctor which contraceptive will suit you well, as your body is already going through hormonal changes that can be disrupted by using hormonal contraceptives.

  • Contraceptives just after childbirth – IUD, IUS, condoms, mini-pill. It’s suggested to wait for four weeks if the IUD is IUS is not implanted in the body within 48 hours after delivery.
  • Contraceptive methods after 3 weeks of delivery – If the person is breastfeeding, should not go for hormonal contraceptives at least for 6 weeks after childbirth as blood clot chances increases but that’s not the case then, vaginal ring, pills, patches can be used.
  • Contraception after 6 weeks of pregnancy – Diaphragm or cap. It should be noted that after pregnancy, size might vary if used earlier, before pregnancy.

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A note from Kamarth – Sex after Childbirth

Having sex after pregnancy is a personal choice that depends on various factors, as life is in a transition phase. Also. Your body is healing, so giving yourself some time is completely fine. This needs to be communicated with the partner, and other forms of intimacy can be done. Mutual comfort needs to be prioritized in the journey of parenthood. Using the right practices and family planning measures can be really helpful.

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Some Additional Doubts

Question: After childbirth, does libido get affected?
Answer: Hormonal changes, fatigue, and stress can occur because of a new lifestyle, sleepless nights, so these things can affect libido. It’s totally normal for a person to have a low sex drive after childbirth.

Question: Is it fine that I am not yet ready for sex?
Answer: It’s totally fine, as it takes a lot to be ready both physically and mentally. It’s important to discuss the same with the partner and connect in other ways.

Question: What are other ways of intimacy other than sex?
Answer: Taking or giving massages, cuddling, or spending quality time together by focusing on emotional connection and communication can be effective ways to connect.

Question: How to take time after having a baby?
Answer: These moments can be planned during nap times of the baby or when someone else is taking care of the baby. It’s important to be flexible and patient and work according to the baby’s timetable.

Question: How does physical recovery affect sexual life?
Answer: Recovery varies from person to person. It’s essential to understand body requirements and wait until you are ready, both physically and emotionally, before going for sex.

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