Sex Drive (Libido): Men vs Women, Factors affecting, Same or different?

Do men have stronger sex drives than women? Or is it just a biased and stereotypical preconceived notion? 

These contradictory arguments have collected significant attention while lighting upon the theoretical concepts of Gender and Sex, especially in relationship studies. Women and men, as separate individuals, have some desires. Both as a couple can have differences on various grounds. One of those differences can exist in their sex drives. 

In this article, we will explore these arguments and studies around the questions of sexual drive in heterosexual couples (cismen and cis women). We will also reflect on various factors that determine the intensity and variability of sex drives in them. Lastly, we will deal with some myths and misconceptions surrounding this issue. 

What is Sex Drive?

Sexual drive or libido is a psychic energy that refers to an individual’s desire to engage in any form of sexual activity. This can include: having sex, masturbation, watching pornography, or consuming any other form of visual or written sexual content. 

We can understand the concept of sex drive as a kind of motivation or fuel that drives any sexual act. It encompasses both frequency (How often?) and Intensity (How much?) of sexual desires. While there are studies around frequency, there is less known about intensity, because it is difficult to measure. A lot of factors are responsible in relation to lower or higher sex drives in both men and women. 

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Factors affecting sex drive

There are some factors that affect sex drive in men and women. Let’s discuss.

1. Biological Factors

Hormones: The hormones that give rise to Sexual drives in men and women are testosterone and estrogens, respectively. The production of these hormones are at peak during puberty. Testosterone can generally contribute to a higher libido in men. 

In women, sexual drives can differ at various stages. For example, before menstruation or during ovulation, women may feel a higher sex drive because estrogen production and fluctuations are relatively easy to occur, and gradually it comes down as they complete the menstrual cycle. 

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2. Age, Health, and Lifestyle

Higher or lower Sex drives can differ from individual to individual, with some may experiencing low sex drives as they grow older and others may not feel any difference at all. Women usually feel lower Sexual desires as they approach menopause (40s-50s)because of a decrease in levels of estrogens during that stage, while men can feel the same in their 60s or 70s.[1]

A number of other factors can play a crucial role in determining sex drives in both genders. 

  • Medication: Suffering from diseases, low immunological health, consumption of contraceptives, and blood pressure pills. 
  • Physical Activities: Lack or excess of physical exercise. 
  • Lower Production: Lower production of Testosterone (in men) due to smoking, alcohol consumption, cardio health issues, diabetes, irregular or obstructive sleep. 
  • Reproductive Health Conditions: Pregnancy, breastfeeding, menopause, spermatogenesis, endometriosis, PCOS, etc. 

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3. Psychological or emotional factors

Psychological and emotional factors such as:

Stress: Due to workload, family pressures, future aspirations, etc.

  • Depression or Anxiety: Feeling low self-esteem, low confidence, or physical or mental fatigue, an increase in the level of cortisol (stress hormones);
  • Past Incidents: History of any sexual harassment and abuses;
  • Relationship status: intimacy, trust, communication with partner. 

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4. Social and Cultural Factors

Women are seen to be sensitive towards their surroundings, Social circumstances, context, time, comfort level with a partner, which accordingly affects their sexual desires.

Cultural factors such as the environment they’ve been brought up in, their cultural background, can ease or negatively affect sex drives. How easy is it for an individual to talk about their sexual health and what they perceive as ‘sexuality’. It is seen that men are more likely to talk openly about sex, while women have a tendency to ignore or skip these conversations. 

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Studies

A 2007 study shows that women and men can have similar levels of sexual desire. It can increase or decrease based on individuals, regardless of their sex. Thus, breaking the stereotype that men have higher sex drives than women. [2] A comprehensive meta-analysis done by PubMed in 2022, of gender differences in sex drive based on 211 studies, 856 effect sizes, and 621,463 persons, revealed a stronger sex drive in men compared to women, with a medium-to-large effect size, g = 0.69, 95% CI [0.58, 0.81]. [3]

Another study conducted by PubMed Central, published in 2023, shows that in the long term, women were more variable in their sexual desires than men. But during the short term, there’s no significant difference between men’s and women’s desire variability. [4] Hence, there are contradictory arguments and research around the question of sex drives in men and women. Conceptualising and measuring sexual desires also has its own limitations since it’s a private and less spoken about issue. 

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A note from kamarth

Few areas of life hold as much significance for nearly everyone, especially after puberty, as sexuality. A key element of sexuality is sex drive, which refers to individuals’ inherent sexual motivation. Sexual desires in men and women are an essential area of study. 

  • The debate over men vs. women sex drives and considering men as having stronger sex drives than women is complex and can be argued. 
  • There exist studies that may or may not agree with this notion, as women can also have similar levels of sex drives to their male counterparts. 
  • Besides that, there are a lot of factors that equally influence the intensity and frequency of sex drives in both sexes. 

Thus, we should not see the concept of sex drives by keeping a narrow-minded approach (only taking into account Gender); instead, we should be open to new perspectives. This will foster a more nuanced conversation about sexuality. 

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Some Additional Doubts

Question: Do men have a higher sex drive than women? 
Answer: While in a traditional view and studies, we can say that men have higher sex drives than women. But recent studies have shown significant similarities in men’s and women’s sex drives. 

Question: Is a decline in sex drive a problem?
Answer: No, changes and decline in sex drives are normal for both men and women because there are a lot of factors affecting sexual desires. An open conversation with your partner will be helpful. 

Question: How do hormones affect sexual desires? 
Answer: Hormones such as testosterone, progesterone, and estrogens are responsible in the production and regulation of sexual arousal in men and women, respectively. Thus, any fluctuations in them affect their sexual desire positively or negatively. 

Question: How do societal expectations affect sex drives in men and women
Answer: In societies where men can openly talk and discuss sex allow they have an edge over women who are suppressed from expressing their sexual desires. These factors affect their sex drives. 

Question: Do Sexual desires peak at a specific age?
Answer: Sexual desires can peak at different times for different individuals; it is not a watertight concept. Many factors, including lifestyle, psychological-emotional wellbeing, etc., play a crucial role in determining changes in sexual desires over time. 

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References:-
Why do older adults lose their libido | NCOA
Sex Drive How do men women compare | Webmd
Frankenbach J, Weber M, Loschelder DD, Kilger H, Friese M. Sex drive: Theoretical conceptualization and meta-analytic review of gender differences. Psychol Bull. 2022 Sep-Oct;148(9-10):621-661. doi: 10.1037/bul0000366. Epub 2022 Oct 13. PMID: 36227317.
Harris EA, Hornsey MJ, Hofmann W, Jern P, Murphy SC, Hedenborg F, Barlow FK. Does Sexual Desire Fluctuate More Among Women than Men? Arch Sex Behav. 2023 May;52(4):1461-1478. doi: 10.1007/s10508-022-02525-y. Epub 2023 Jan 25. PMID: 36695962; PMCID: PMC10125944.
WebMD. How Sex Drive Changes Through the Years. July 28, 2023.
Mayo Clinic. Sexual Health. Is loss of sex drive normal as men get older?
Jia Zheng, et al. Prevalence of Low Sexual Desire With Associated Distress Across the Adult Life Span: An Australian Cross-Sectional Study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine. October 2022. 
Alice Scott and Louise Newson. Should we be prescribing testosterone to perimenopausal and menopausal women? A guide to prescribing testosterone to women in primary care. British Journal of General Practice. April 2020.

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