4 Things you should never say During Sex – During sex, we all want the moment to be perfect, full of chemistry, spontaneity, and connection. But sometimes, we say words that ruin the whole atmosphere, even if we don’t mean it wrong. And the most interesting thing is that we don’t even realize what we said wrong.
If you want to keep your bedroom communication and connection strong, today’s article is for you. In today’s article, I’m going to tell you 4 sentences you should never say during sex. If you want to maintain both chemistry and connection, be sure to read the article until the end. Let’s get started.
Table of Contents
First thing for 4 Things you should never say During Sex
The first question you shouldn’t ask her during sex is, “Did you have an orgasm?”
This question sounds normal, but it can be uncomfortable for some women. It’s important to understand that not every woman can reach orgasm during sex. Many women have difficulty reaching orgasm, or they don’t feel anything at all, and even for those who do, it doesn’t always happen. This is completely natural.
But society has created such high expectations about sex and pleasure that if a woman doesn’t have an orgasm, she feels insecure and embarrassed.
Now, in such a situation, if you directly ask, “Did you come?”, it makes the moment even more uncomfortable for her. If she had an orgasm, that’s fine, but if she didn’t, she’ll naturally feel a little embarrassed. This is why sometimes she’ll say a false “yes” simply because she feels uncomfortable saying “no.”
These yes-no questions can be a bit pushy. They increase pressure and can even ruin the mood.
Getting feedback is a good thing, but it should be gentle and open. For example, instead of directly asking, “Did you come?”, you can ask, “What did you like most?” This question will naturally encourage her to share her experience. If she did have an orgasm, she’ll likely share it herself, like, “It was amazing when you did that.” This will give you feedback and make her feel comfortable sharing her feelings.
The problem with asking this question directly is that if she feels uncomfortable and lies, it could create a pattern in the relationship. A lie once, then the same thing every time. Therefore, it’s best to avoid this question.
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Second thing for 4 Things you should never say During Sex
The second thing you shouldn’t ask is “Did you like it?”
You may be asking this question without any ill intentions, just to get a general reaction, but if you think carefully, your partner doesn’t have many options for answering this question.
There’s a hidden pressure involved. When you ask, “Did you like it?”, your partner has only two options: yes, yes, or no.
If she enjoyed it, that’s fine, but if she didn’t, it might be a little difficult for her. At that point, I think her honest answer might offend you. She feels that your happiness is more important than hers. And when she feels like her experience or comfort isn’t being valued, she shuts down emotionally.
If she wants to tell the truth, “I didn’t enjoy it that much. Can you change it up a bit?”, she’s afraid it will ruin your mood or hurt you. So she often lies, “Yeah, I did,” just because she thinks that’s what you want to hear.
If you want to have such a conversation, don’t bring it up now; you can talk about it later. Such conversations are important, but their timing and tone must be right. They should be discussed calmly afterward, not during sex, when you’re both comfortable. Then the conversation will flow naturally, and you’ll get honest feedback without hesitation.
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Third Things for 4 Things Don’t Say to Her During Sex
Third, if your partner isn’t feeling well during intimate moments, don’t tell them directly or ask them if you’re not wet.
This could be hurtful for them. Imagine the opposite situation: you’re with your partner, and for some reason, your penis isn’t getting erect, and they ask, “Is your penis not getting erect?” How would you feel? This wouldn’t feel good at all, and it would obviously make the situation even more awkward.
Similarly, saying “You’re not wet” can seem insensitive, because it’s not an option. Wetness is a natural bodily response that doesn’t always occur consistently. Sometimes, stress, anxiety, health problems, or certain phases of the menstrual cycle can reduce natural lubrication. This doesn’t mean she’s not interested, just that her body needs a little more time and rest.
And yes, she realizes that this isn’t just her job, it’s yours too. Just as you want her to touch and kiss you to arouse you, you should also focus on foreplay with her.
A little more kissing, a little more touching, a little more comfort all help her body relax. When she feels safe and open, her body responds naturally. So take some time, understand her cues, and enjoy foreplay. This is a moment of connection, not blame.
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Fourth Things for 4 Things Don’t Say to Her During Sex
The fourth thing that can really hurt your partner is when you bluntly say, “I don’t have time for this.” It’s not just a sentence, but a message that their pleasure, their experience, and their feelings don’t matter to you.
Look, it’s true that long sessions aren’t always possible. Life is busy and stressful, and sometimes you just don’t have the energy. But it’s important to understand that women’s bodies take some time to get aroused. Their orgasm cycle is a little slower and happens in stages. Sometimes they need foreplay, touch, kissing, or gentle caressing to feel comfortable with both their bodies and the moment.
And it’s not just about physical intimacy, it’s also about emotional intimacy. When you make time for her, slow down with her, and focus on foreplay and afterplay, she feels like you really care about her or make it natural for her to feel pleasure.
So the next time you feel like you’re short on time, don’t give up. Keep it short if possible, but she should feel like you’re there for her, that you value her pleasure. Never say, “I don’t have time,” because making time for pleasure isn’t a luxury; it’s the most important part of building a relationship.
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Some additional doubts:
Question: What are the 4 C’s of safe sex?
Answer: Consent, communication, contraception, and caution.
Question: What should I avoid saying during sex talk?
Answer: Never ask directly – Did you orgasm, and did you like it?
Question: What is the red flag in sex?
Answer: The major red flags are Pressure, disrespect, or ignoring consent.
Question: What is the 3-month rule for sex?
Answer: This rule says you can wait for 3 months to ensure emotional and physical readiness.
Question: What changes come in a girl after sex?
Answer: After sex, she got a feeling of guilt.
Read more:
- Body Image: What is it, and how can I improve it?
- Do You Get Periods in Space? How Astronauts Deal with Menstruation.
- Dyspareunia (painful intercourse): Causes, treatments and more
- Cervical Cap: Contraceptive, How To Use & Effectiveness
References Link:
- Diana Kirschner, PhD.
- Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
- American Psychological Society.
- Knapp, M. and Hall, J. Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction. 7th edition, Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2010.
- West Virginia Department of Education.
- Schnarch, D. Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships; MacMillan, 1997.
- Gloria Brame, PhD, a sexologist
- Ian Kerner, PhD, psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and author of She Comes First
- Tracey Cox, sex and relationship expert, author of Hot Sex: How to Do It